Modesty

I've been thinking about this for awhile.  Most of this post was written last week.  I've hemmed and hawed about it, because the more I look at what I think are our family standards, the more I realize that we break them.  I love chubby baby arms, so until they reach primary age, our girls have worn sundresses.  We end up with skirts that don't reach knees.   Because it never really gets hot here, they have lots of capris, but if the girls do have shorts, they don't reach their knees, either.  The girls also have tried to wear their camisoles as shirts.  We're not perfect, not by a long shot.
(What I wrote)
Today, I had the kids trapped in the minivan as we waited to go in for their dental cleaning.  One of them asked if the church always had rules about what we can wear. 
What an excellent time to explain modesty!
Modesty starts with character.  Modesty is an understanding of who we are and what our bodies are: sons and daughters of God, the tabernacle of our spirit, and a temple where spirit and flesh meet.  It is an understanding of the sacred nature of our bodies and the powers that they hold. It sees the creative power as a tangible link with God, a sharing of His power to build worlds.  It is meek, but powerful.  It is brave.  It is confident and assured.  Modesty never screams, "Look at me!" It is virtuous.  It is an eternal principle.
Dress reflects modesty.  It protects and covers that which is treasured.  It isn't extreme, because a modest person doesn't court scintillating attention.  It is simple and allows the beauty (and handsomeness) of the individual to be displayed without distraction.  This isn't to say that our clothes can't be lovely and that we should walk around in nondescript rags. 
I think to tell our children to be modest and then not explain why or what it means is silly.  They will be confronted with immodesty.  They will be pressured to be immodest.  It will sometimes seem easier to be immodest.
In the next 10-15 years, our children will make covenants in the temple and we want them to be in the habit of choosing attire which will reflect those promises, so this is a battle we are choosing to fight in our home.  For us, basically it means that our tops have sleeves and our shorts and skirts preferably reach the knees.  Our stomachs are covered. 

There is protection in dressing modestly.  I've heard arguments that it shouldn't matter what a girl/woman wears, a boy/man should be able to control himself and not give into primal urges.  Number one, this type of thinking takes any responsibility away from the female.  Number 2, I don't know of any other group of young men/men who receive repeated counsel to bridle their passions, to respect womanhood, and to be righteous.  So sending a daughter out into a world without the protection of these teachings is lunacy-- it is like sending a lamb into a pack of wolves.
 Concerning immodest Prom dresses:  I cannot imagine going to an activity like Prom in a dress that doesn't cover, that doesn't stay put.  The date generally includes eating.  If the dress is too tight, eating is uncomfortable.  The date includes getting into and out of vehicles.  If the dress is too short, it shows more than was intended.  If the dress doesn't have a top that covers the shoulders and the bosoms, the girl is constantly adjusting, constantly worried that there will be cleavage leakage.  As the mother of a boy, I don't want him to feel uncomfortable with a girl.  If the dress is backless, where does he put his hand during slow dances?  If it is low cut, where does he look when he looks down at her?  If it is too short how does he help her to be ladylike when it is impossible?  As hard as it can be to find a dress that appropriately displays standards, it would be harder still to be comfortable and to feel good about the choice made. That's my opinion. 
There is protection in obedience. 
D & C 130:  20-21
20 There is a ^alaw, irrevocably decreed in ^bheaven before the foundations of this world, upon which all ^cblessings are predicated—

21 And when we obtain any ^ablessing from God, it is by ^bobedience to that law upon which it is predicated.

There are rules of dress at church activities.  After temple covenants have been made, there are rules of dress if the covenants are to be properly kept.  These rules affect the ability to worship and serve in the temple. 

If we understand who we are, if we understand the covenants we make in the temple, we will gladly, gladly be obedient to the counsel to allow our clothing to reflect a modest nature.  We will develop in ourselves a modest nature.