Last week I wrote about my sudden and sadly latent epiphany. I took time during the week to think about what I needed to change in my life and what I wanted to present to the Lord for my repentance during the Sacrament. I can't say that my repentance was very good. I tend to get side tracked. A lot.
And then came Sunday. We had invited a family over for dinner that night. Dan will be working with the husband in the Teacher's Quorum and we have kids the same ages. I thought maybe we ought to make the effort to get to know each other. I 'worked' all morning getting things ready. I don't think of cooking as work, so I don't generally feel bad about cooking on Sunday. I baked a cake, made the top layer for the Jell-o salad, made potato salad, a pasta salad, and threw ingredients into the bread maker. 4 girls to get ready. Lesson to finish preparing. Morgan to get to the church for fast offerings.
As we drove the two minutes to church I realized that I hadn't spent any time that day thinking about what I'd spent all week thinking about. I was chagrined.
The Sacrament hymn was "God Loved Us so He Sent His Son". I rarely use the hymn book because # 1 I've sung the songs often enough that I know them and #2 when I had little kids, holding a book was too much while holding a babe. Not paying attention, I sang the words "My will to His like Son to Sire". I was unprepared for the Spirit that washed over me. Big, fat, juicy tears welled up in my eyes and spilled over. I had an overwhelming desire to be obedient. I also felt like my obedience thus far had been recognized. I thought about bearing my testimony, but I was completely not in control of myself. I knew that if I got up, I would have sobbed my way through and I wouldn't have been understood through my snorts.
It was a good experience.
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